Porn is bad for you and good for me…a Grey area.

Or at least that seems to be the logical ends to “50 Shades of Grey”.

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50 Shades of Grey is the latest soccer mom sexual thriller.  So is erotic literature healthy for Christians?

My question is,  “Is extramarital erotica healthy in any form?”

I know it’s “just a book”, but here is my difficulty—It arouses women.  Now please don’t get me wrong I am all for VERY healthy marriages in the sexual sense- In fact I went to great detail promoting, young, healthy, mutually satisfying “bedrooms”

Link-So Should I have sex, or go to Church?

I was talking to a pastor this morning and we discussed 6 things that visual DVD/.com/ porn does-

  •  It promotes lust.
  • It creates an unhealthy fantasy world.
  • It creates unrealistic sexual expectations.
  • It creates discontent in one’s own partner.
  • It is addictive.
  • It leads to other unhealthy and sinful activity.
  •  It makes sex god

My question is, “What’s the difference?”   A woman heart broken when she finds her husband has looked at porn online, she feels inferior, cheated on, ugly, and disgusted.

Women, are by God’s design emotionally stimulated, The charming “Mr. Grey” as one reviewer notes on Amazon,

The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous p*****, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

Now everybody’s talking about the sex scenes, I won’t post the text here, but I will link you to an audio reading clip by a computer voice…in the hopes that C3PO reading erotica to you will dissuade temptation.  The only reason I’m even linking it is for those who ask”Is it really THAT BAD”?  Judge for yourself if you don’t believe me…but I prefer you just believe me.

C3PO reads 50 Shades of Grey  WARNING EROTIC SEXUALLY EXPLICIT[1] You better read that footnote!!

Now the reason that there is a waiting list at my local library at about 5-10 weeks (Shucks!!!) isn’t for the sex–Don’t get me wrong, everybody wants good sex.

It seems it’s for Mr. Grey.  I have a hard time believing this book would get so many reads if Mr. Grey was a middle aged, balding, obese man with a farmers tan, who is inconsiderate, watches to much football, doesn’t read,forgot his anniversary, and grosses 36K….who just happened to be great in the bedroom.

Visual porn stimulates men, because men are visual.  Thus, the lingerie market exist.

Women, are more emotionally stimulated, thus the flower/jewelery/card/pillow talk/5 love language/ romantic movie/romantic song/ romantic destination/poetry/ romantic novel/romantic restaurant markets exist.

If a man want’s to attract his wife he has to do a combination of the above-mixed together, preferably in the order she desires him to know without her telling or  him asking.

If a Wife wants to attract her husband, she can show up anytime/anywhere in the house wearing something revealing…or less.

And Mr. Grey stimulates women…because he is designed by a woman-to be woman centered, masculine in the good ways…just not in the “bad” (insensitive/forgetful/passive) ways.

So Christian sisters, I have to ask, what’s the difference?  Is it ok for your husbands to desire a woman who has all the “right things” without all the “wrong things”?

If it’s ok for you to read it, are you comfortable with your husbands watching the playing out of the exact words you’re reading?

You shouldn’t be- and by reading or watching and filling your mind with things that cause sexual sin in your heart  are you are committing emotional adultery?

Is what you’re doing with this book, (and others) or emotionally driven fantasy type relationship TV–porn?

It looks that there is a double standard, correct me if I’m wrong.

But don’t forget that the Bachelorette start next week…


[1] I know that “warning” just makes you want to click it because you’re human, but I also know that if I didn’t put it up there I’d get an email complaining that I didn’t warn you.  So make a mature decision.  If you’re a parent upset you’re child clicks it and complains I’m going to ask you why you give your kids unrestricted internet access and you don’t have a better filtering system.

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About matthewstevens

Matt needs more Jesus...just like you. He writes to encourage thinking and the expansion of the Kingdom
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2 Responses to Porn is bad for you and good for me…a Grey area.

  1. Marti Janes says:

    I was thinking about this yesterday . . . tell me what you think about this. A lot of men brush it off or laugh it off. Some may even be tempted to believe that it “helps” in their sexual intimacy with their wife . . . the wife gets turned on by the book and then brings it to the bedroom. Does that make sense?

    • Yes, it’s the same logic that many husbands use when asking their wife to watch pornography. The foundational issue here is not “spice” or “appeal”. Rather it is the introduction of a third party to the marriage bed.

      What a husband and wife do, in agreement, for mutual pleasure, together (without another personhood/people), not against concious, is encouraged in Scripture.

      Could something be “learned” from erotica/porn?

      Abosolutly, but the cost is too great to concious and the spirit of a spouse-especially when there are plenty of educational (and Christian) resources that add to marriage, without detracting from the sancitity of the marriage bed through those issues porn causes.

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